I Can See Clearly Now

So confusing. Life.

The Boy and I have split up and it is so hard.

I am so close to getting all of my shit sorted, exercising and money wise not to mention everything else, but I could not cope any longer with the lack of love shown, anger directed at me and removal of communication. So I got really drunk. So stupid. So So Stupid.
I begged The Boy to talk to me, not to yell, but talk to me, talk about our issues, not push me away from him, physically and emotionally. But he wouldn’t.

So, it’s so stupid, we don’t want to but we have split up possibly for good and it is so sad.

Somedays I want to sit down with The Boy and say let’s stop this stupidity, sort our shit out together and move on. Others I want to move out into my own place and live, breath and run my own show, do it myself. But at the end of the day, I just wanted The Boy to love me like I loved him, not to yell at me etc.
At least I am getting healthy and fitter slowly, looking at my own apartment and starting to think about myself and my life.

Dammit.